Letter to family

Dear Dad, Mom, Yeyek and Finfin

Would you like to hold my hand..

let's live in a small village

where there's no electricity

Daddy..

When the main occupation is farming

In the morning mom makes simple breakfast before you go to the field

I help mom cook for you

you wear shabby clothes with short pant with high spirit heading to your workplace

Mommy..

you stay at house teaching me and sisters how to cook

sewing some clothes to sell it to the market

I will carry your clothes to the market and yeyek will help me sells the clothes

for the profit you make a simple yet our most favorite dinner

Ye, Fin, don't you want a peaceful life.

where our main concern is not become a rich successful woman

we can live our life so simple

we play hide and seek in front of house yard

mom chasing us with a rattan for being naughty and skip classes

dad takes us to his field and teach us how to planting rice

we play kite at the open sky

I tickle both of you so we can play chasing game in the grassland

mom pull my ear for teasing you and your lil sis

dad let you jump into his shoulder and hold your hand act like he's an aeroplane

we don't need any better education

as long as we can put smile on our parents face

we don't need million of money to spend

as long as there's a warmth in my mom and dad's hand

having a simple life

with limited money to spend

marrying a simple guy

become a farmer's wife

don't have any concern about being wealth

it's all I wanna be

when God still give me chance

to have the same family

when I die and return back as a new human

I prefer to be a poor family

but live in a very happy and warm heart

Randome!

10:58 pm

I might be crazy

cause I've never done this thing to anyone before

one question for you,

is it me too addicted or you are too attractive

?

I don't need any

take notice human!

I don't need any of you

if I'm just visible when you need me

If you think you all are humans

just see me as animal

anyway, I got heart too

does animal's heart way easier to break?

Grateful for being single :)

I know a lot of single friends

from single since yesterday until single since they were born

One thing I can't understand them

why the hell they really want to get involve in a relationship so freaking bad?

erm. I know, someday. I will have my lifetime partner

but if I can choose to

and if there is no negative perception of an old lady live in a small house alone

I will choose not to have any boyfriend

I fed up to love someone

or to be loved by someone

Let me tell you what will happen in most of love cycle

we fall in love

smile without any reason

become couple

get through sweet moments (fyi, maximal 3months)

arguing

crying

arguing

crying

arguing

crying

arguing

crying

break up

frustration

stress

ex all over the head

sleep

wake up

cry

eat

cry

study

cry

sleep

wake up

cry

*continue yourself*

I have been get through this situation twice.

The first is the worst of all

the second, I thought it will be the last

yet, torn my heart into small pieces

I feel it just such a waste of time

having a relationship

cause you will get hurt

but it doesn't mean that I afraid of getting hurt

I just feel so fucked up when I get involved in love

the hardest part is

to get over someone you loved

you can't control your heart, can you?

why have to force something we can't even control?
"trying to forget someone we love is as hard as 
trying to remember someone we never met"
can you feel how hard is it?
(being exaggerated LOL)

anyway, it takes time

suffering the pain when time leads you away from your ex

Now,

I am so grateful

for being single

and free from love

however,

I still have those memories

which will not fade

I think the only reason people hold onto memories so tight is because memories are the things that don't change; when everybody else does (Marcin. M, 2010)

anyway, this just my personal experience

but I still feel very happy if my friend gets new bf or whatsoever

cause I want them to prove me wrong

that relationship is not about hurting each other

but yet, no one 'slap' my head

and show me what's the beauty of love

BIG QUESTION MARK IN MY HEAD

readers,

I got one big question mark in my head

It's been bothering my brain

and I've been asking most of my friends since I was in high school

and they failed to answer :(

When I watch movie, some people try to suicide by cutting their wrist's arteries

with kitchen knife

and they died successfully with lot of tears spread on their face

But, I saw people lose their arm whether it's right or left or both

yet, still alive O.O

Is this case is a magic case

or someone can answer me with scientific explanation

I'm waiting..

my insanity part

hello readers,

now my laptop clock shows it's already 3:01 am

and I'm still struggling to understand

what the hell is UNIVERSAL VALUE

okay,

I wish I was a Malaysian

can understand english very well :(

every slide I spend my time in GOOGLE TRANSLATING 

some words that I don't even know that word has ever exist

example like, perennial inferior and so on

I know I'm so lame :(

I spent my time doing scribble and hopefully it works on my exam

a lot rite?

haha. doesn't mean to show off.

in fact. I am :p

ahh readers, u  have to know this is

advertising student's misery

facing exam :(

now I'm going to do more scribble. cause I can't remember

now clock shows 3:28am

and this is Felle accompanied by unfriendly eyes

reporting from my horrible room

see my eye bag. can put lecture notes inside *random talk* unconscious stage1

so sleepy even now im typing with eyes close full feels like im in planet x dating with alien
* unconscious stage 10 

wishing my Taylor's friends have the best luck

and can do the best for exams!

and wishing you all

have a goodnight sleep!

gently reminder: don't drink coffee too much.

What can I do? - The Corrs

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

No more waiting, No more aching
No more fighting, No more trying

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

Love me..